By Stephanie Bucklin
As 2025 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on a year that held both darkness and light—sometimes simultaneously.
This was not a year of easy victories or linear healing. It was a year that asked me to sit with discomfort, face limitations, and feel the weight of uncertainty. And it was also a year that taught me how to rise gently, intentionally, and with grace. I share this reflection not as a story of brokenness, but as a testament to transformation. To understand where I am going, I must honor where I have been.
Where I Have Been: Sitting with the Dark
Much of 2025 required me to slow down in ways I did not choose. Chronic pain, financial instability, and the unpredictability of my body reshaped my days and my expectations. There were moments when my world became very small, measured in hours of energy, manageable pain levels, and simple tasks.
This darkness was not dramatic—it was quiet, persistent, and humbling. It challenged my identity, my independence, and my sense of security. I had to face fears about survival, worthiness, and what it means to live a meaningful life when productivity is no longer the measure.
In the dark, I learned to stop running from myself.
What the Darkness Taught Me
The darkness was not here to punish me. It was here to teach me discernment.
- I learned that survival is not a spiritual failure. Needing help, money, rest, or support does not negate wisdom or devotion. It reveals humanity.
- I learned that boundaries are an act of love—especially when they involve stepping away from dynamics that mirror old emotional patterns. Walking away was not abandonment; it was conscious healing.
- And I learned that systems are limited. Being denied disability did not invalidate my experience; it illuminated how poorly our structures hold complex, invisible realities.
The dark stripped me down to what was real.
Choosing the Light, One Breath at a Time
As much as this year contained hardship, it was also the year I chose the light—again and again.
I followed joy intentionally, not as an escape, but as a form of alignment. Sometimes joy was laughter or creativity. Other times it was simply peace, a quiet moment, or the relief of a regulated nervous system.
Daily deep breathing practices became a lifeline. Through breath, I learned how to calm my body, soften fear, and return to the present moment. Breath taught me that safety can be cultivated internally, even when external circumstances are uncertain.
The light did not erase the darkness. It illuminated a path through it.
Learning to Choose Happiness Without Denial
This year marked a turning point in how I relate to pain.
Instead of allowing suffering to dominate my awareness, I learned to choose happiness more often. This was not denial or bypassing—it was conscious attention. I learned that I could acknowledge pain without giving it the center stage of my inner life.
“Where attention goes, energy flows.” — Jqmes Redfield, The Celestine Prophesy
By choosing happiness, nourishment, and presence, I reshaped my inner landscape. I learned that joy and grief can coexist—and that joy does not need permission from pain.
Peace as an Embodied Reality
One of the greatest gifts of 2025 has been discovering peace within myself.
Not peace as an idea, but peace as a lived, embodied experience. Peace that lives in my breath, my nervous system, and my choices. Peace that remains even when life is imperfect.
I am peaceful within—not because everything is resolved, but because I have learned how to meet life as it is.
Rising with Integrity
As I reflect on this year, I see a version of myself who did not harden in response to hardship.
I softened. I listened. I stayed. I continued to write, create, and share honestly—not from performance, but from presence. I honored my body. I honored my truth. I honored the slow, sacred work of becoming.
This, to me, is success.
Carrying the Light Forward
2025 taught me that the dark and the light are not opposites—they are collaborators in transformation. I move forward with reverence for the darkness that shaped me and gratitude for the light that guides me.
I am not broken. I am becoming. I am still here. I am still choosing the light.
And now, I walk forward—grounded, whole, and illuminated from the inside out.
A Poem from the Year
Between the Dark and the Light
by Stephanie Bucklin
I walked the year with shadows at my heels, not enemies—teachers asking me to slow, to listen, to feel where the ache lived.
There were days my world grew small, measured in breaths, in gentle yeses and careful noes. I learned the shape of patience by tracing the limits of my body.
Still, I carried a spark. Not loud. Not urgent. Just steady.
Each morning I met myself with breath— a quiet vow that safety could be grown from the inside. Inhale, I gathered myself. Exhale, I stayed.
I did not deny the dark. I let it pass through me like weather, leaving the soil richer for what would come next.
Joy found me in small places: soft laughter, stillness, the peace of choosing not to fight what already was.
And somewhere between what hurt and what healed, I remembered— I am not broken.
I am becoming.
I walk now with the dark behind me, the light within me, and the knowing that both belong to the song of my life.
📚 Expore Other Writings by Stephanie Bucklin
If this reflection resonates with you—if you are navigating your own season of darkness while learning how to rise gently into the light—I invite you to explore my Holistic Wellness Practices for a Healthy Lifestyle book series.
This three-book collection is rooted in lived experience and integrative wisdom, offering practical tools for mind, body, and spirit healing. Within these pages, you’ll find guidance on breathwork, mindfulness, nervous system regulation, self-awareness, and embodied spiritual practice—written for real humans walking real healing journeys.
✨ Whether you are just beginning or deepening your path, these books are companions—meant to be returned to again and again.
👉 Explore the full series on Amazon
May they support you in choosing peace, presence, and the light that already lives within you. 💛
Namaste,
~S
Leave a Reply