by Stephanie Bucklin, HHP
There is a truth at the heart of all things – quiet, undeniable, and often uncomfortable: Everything is impermanent.
This is one of the core teachings of Buddhism. And yet, knowing it intellectually is very different from living it. Right now, I am living it. I find myself in a space of pause. A threshold. A sacred in-between. After surgery, life as I knew it came to a complete halt. Plans canceled. Movement slowed. Work paused. My body, once driven by momentum, now asks only for stillness. And in this stillness, I recognize something familiar. I am in bardo.
As Pema Chödrön teaches: “We are always in a bardo, always in transition.”
In Tibetan Buddhism, bardo often refers to the space between death and rebirth. But it is also the space between breaths, identities, chapters, and ways of being. It is the moment when what was has dissolved… and what will be has not yet fully formed. It is where I am now. And if you’re honest with yourself—it is where you are too.
The Illusion of Stability
We build our lives around permanence. We create routines. Businesses. Relationships. Identities. We attach to roles, outcomes, and expectations as if they will remain fixed. But they won’t.
As the Buddha taught:
“All conditioned things are impermanent—when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.”
Impermanence is not the problem. Our resistance to it is. The suffering doesn’t come from change itself. It comes from clinging—our desire for things to stay the same when life is constantly moving.
The Fight Against What Is
When faced with loss, uncertainty, or forced stillness, there is a deep human instinct to fight. To push back. To control. To rush forward into the next thing.
I’ve felt that urge. Especially as someone who has lived much of her life in motion – producing, creating, building, striving. The identity of “doing” can feel like survival. But this moment has stripped that away. And what remains is presence.
As Eckhart Tolle writes:
“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
What if the real strength is not in pushing through, but in allowing?
The Bardo of Healing
This healing journey has placed me in a sacred pause. A space where productivity has not disappeared, but transformed. It has turned inward.
There is a deep unraveling happening beneath the surface. Old beliefs about hustle, worth, and productivity are dissolving. The inner work I had been calling in – the space to process, to rewire, to integrate – has arrived.
Not through force. But through surrender. And in this space, I see clearly: Forward momentum doesn’t always look like movement.
- Sometimes it looks like stillness.
- Sometimes it looks like rest.
- Sometimes it looks like sitting in the unknown and trusting that something new is forming.
The Gift of the Present Moment
Buddhist practice has given me one of the most profound tools for navigating impermanence: Presence. Not as a concept—but as a lived experience.
Right here. Right now.
As Thich Nhat Hanh so beautifully said:
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”
This moment—this quiet, this pause, this breath – is not something to get through. It is something to be with. There is a blessing here – the blessing of time – the blessing of awareness. The blessing of being able to choose peace – even when life is uncertain.
Becoming Through Letting Go
Impermanence is not just about loss. It is also about becoming. Everything that falls away creates space for something new to emerge. The version of me that lived in constant motion is dissolving. And something more aligned – more grounded, more present – is taking shape. But transformation requires space. It requires the willingness to sit in the in-between without rushing to define it.
As Jack Kornfield reminds us:
“In the end, just three things matter: how well we have lived, how well we have loved, and how well we have learned to let go.”
The Sacred Quiet Before the Return
There will come a time when my body is healed.
When my energy returns. When movement resumes. When I step back into the world with renewed clarity. But I don’t want to rush there.
Because this moment—this quiet, this sacred stillness—is where something essential is being formed. This is where I begin again. Not from urgency. Not from pressure. But from peace.
A Gentle Invitation
If you are in a season of transition—whether chosen or unexpected—consider this: You may be in a bardo.
And instead of trying to escape it… What if you allowed yourself to be held by it? To trust it. To listen. To soften into what is unfolding.
Because nothing lasts forever. Not the pain. Not the uncertainty. Not even this version of you. And that is not something to fear. It is something to honor.
Closing Reflection
Impermanence is not here to take from us. It is here to wake us up. To remind us that this moment is alive. That this breath is sacred. That this life is always changing—and therefore always full of possibility.
And perhaps, if we allow it…
We can learn not just to endure the in-between…
but to find peace within it.
Namaste,
~S
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