by Stephanie Bucklin
When Pain Turns to Laughter
Chronic pain has been part of my adult life for as long as I can remember. Over the years, I developed a curious — and sometimes comical — response to it: when the pain gets too intense, I giggle. On a massage therapist’s table, this often creates an unexpected ripple of laughter in the room, lightening the mood for everyone around me. For me, though, it isn’t just laughter. It’s a survival strategy.
Smiling or laughing through pain is my way of minimizing the suffering, not drawing too much attention to myself, and, in truth, playing small. Somewhere along the way, I learned that if I could keep things “light,” I didn’t have to reveal the depth of my struggle.
Pain and the Pattern of Playing Small
This realization hit me more deeply after watching the film Bombshell, a story about women in television standing up against sexual harassment. As part of the #MeToo movement, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own history — the harassment, the inappropriate comments, the objectification, and the silences I chose over speaking out. Beyond the traumatic story I once shared publicly, I rarely voiced these experiences.
As I thought about this pattern, it dawned on me: laughing through pain is not so different from staying silent in the face of mistreatment. Both are strategies of shrinking, minimizing, and avoiding confrontation. And both have left their imprint on my body.
The Body DOES Keep the Score!
In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes:
“The body keeps the score: if the memory of trauma is encoded in the viscera, in heartbreaking and gut-wrenching emotions, in autoimmune disorders and skeletal/muscular problems, and if mind–body interventions can help people overcome the tyranny of the past, then the challenge is to find ways to help people reset their physiology.”
That idea shook me when I first read it. Could my chronic pain be a physical echo of the traumas I’ve endured? Was my laughter in the face of pain a way of avoiding the deeper truths my body was trying to tell me?
Pain, Energy, and the Root Chakra
Recently, I listened to Eluna Noelle speak about the chakras and the way blocked energy manifests in the body. The root chakra, located at the base of the spine, governs stability, safety, and our foundational needs. When blocked, it can be associated with issues like low back pain, hip instability, and even financial insecurity.
This stopped me in my tracks. My own pain has often centered in my low back and hips. Could the instability I’ve felt in my relationships and finances be manifesting physically in the same place? It echoed van der Kolk’s work — trauma held in the body, waiting to be acknowledged and released.
A Decade-Long Quest
For the last ten years, I’ve been on a quest for healing. In June 2023, I stopped working a W2 job and applied for disability. In that moment, I felt a wave of defeat — a surrender to the idea that perhaps there would never be a solution to my pain. But even in that surrender, a spark remained: What if the solution isn’t only medical or external, but within me?
Neuroscience is beginning to support this possibility. Dr. Norman Doidge, in The Brain That Changes Itself, reminds us:
“The brain is not fixed, it is plastic, and can actually rewire itself.”
If the brain can change, then maybe I can retrain mine to shift my relationship with pain. Maybe laughter doesn’t need to be a mask, but can instead be reclaimed as genuine joy — a tool for rewiring and releasing.
Healing as Ascension
So I wonder: what if my chronic pain isn’t just an obstacle, but part of a larger spiritual process? What if clearing the root chakra, practicing energy work, and facing my traumas is not just healing but ascending — a kind of upgrade to a higher version of myself?
Pain, laughter, silence, trauma, and healing — they all weave together in my story. And while the journey continues, I’m no longer content to play small. Instead, I’m choosing to listen to my body, to honor what it’s been holding for me, and to believe that healing is possible.
A Healing Moment with Another Healer
Recently, I had the profound experience of interviewing Elizabeth Kipp, a Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist. During our conversation, she offered a prayer that shifted something deep within my body and mind—creating space where tension once held me tightly. I’m still living with chronic pain, but the mental grip around it has noticeably softened. Her words continue to resonate, reminding me that healing isn’t always about eliminating the pain but transforming my relationship to it.
WATCH THIS INTERVIEW ON YOUTUBE
Elizabeth once said that “the beginning of forgiveness is being willing to let go of whatever it was that we’re grasping onto so tightly around the hurt or wrong done to us,” capturing the essence of how that prayer unlocked something in me.
~S
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🌟 Your Healing Journey Awaits
Trauma healing is possible. I’ve witnessed it again and again through the Akashic Records — where layers of pain and story are lovingly released, and new pathways of freedom emerge. Often, it takes several sessions to gently peel back the layers, but the transformation is real and profound. This is why I created ongoing programs — to walk with you consistently on the path of healing and self-mastery.
Whether you choose to work with me, with Elizabeth Kipp, or another trusted guide, my deepest wish is that you find your healer — someone who can hold space for you to rise. Humanity heals when each of us takes the brave step of tending to our own wounds.
If you feel called to journey with me, I invite you to explore my Soul Journey Membership 🌙 — a sacred space for deep healing, growth, and spiritual connection. As a free gift, you’ll receive the first three chapters of my book Awakened Living, designed to support you in moving toward self-healing mastery.
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Your body holds wisdom. Your soul holds truth. Your healing is possible. 🌹
