by Stephanie Bucklin
Relationships can be some of our greatest teachers. They bring us joy, love, and connection — but also mirror back our wounds, fears, and unhealed parts. Often, when conflict arises, it’s not just about the dishes left in the sink or the words spoken in frustration. What’s really surfacing is an old wound, an emotional trigger rooted in past trauma. Instead of meeting the present moment, we find ourselves reacting to echoes of the past.
As Sarah McLachlan sings, “It’s hard, the way you look at me, with a rage I cannot place. But I’m not the enemy.” These lines capture the heart of what happens in so many arguments: the person in front of us becomes the placeholder for someone who hurt us long ago. But they are not the enemy. Our triggers are invitations — guides pointing us toward the inner work we are being called to do.
Emotional Triggers as Teachers
Emotions are not obstacles; they are energy in motion. When we feel anger, sadness, or fear in the heat of an argument, we have a choice: suppress the feeling, lash out, or pause long enough to notice what’s really happening inside of us.
Sarah’s lyric, “For every two steps that go forward, there’s one that crawls back,” reminds us that growth is not linear. Healing often feels like progress followed by setbacks. That doesn’t mean we’re failing; it means we’re human. Each trigger that arises gives us a new chance to deepen awareness, to peel back the layers of pain and uncover the vulnerable truth beneath.
Taking Personal Responsibility
It’s easy to blame our partner when we’re triggered. But the work of transformation begins when we take responsibility for our own emotions. This doesn’t mean ignoring hurtful behavior, but rather owning our reaction to it. We stop asking, “Why are they doing this to me?” and start asking, “What in me is being revealed right now?”
“I’ll carry you through your pain,” Sarah offers in her song. While it’s powerful when a partner shows up with compassion, true healing happens when we carry ourselves through our own pain. Self-awareness gives us the strength to pause, breathe, and respond from love instead of fear.
Love That Holds Like Gravity
At its core, love is not about perfection. It is about presence. Arguments will happen, triggers will arise, and hearts will break and mend. What matters is the commitment to return to love, again and again.
Sarah’s words, “Though life will come apart, break and unbreak your heart, I will be like gravity, always true. I won’t give up on you,” remind us that love can be a grounding force. When both partners take responsibility for their emotions, the relationship becomes less about blame and more about growth. Love becomes gravity — steady, constant, and unshakable.
Moving Forward with Awareness
The next time conflict arises, instead of spiraling into old patterns, try this:
- Pause before reacting.
- Name the feeling that is present.
- Ask yourself, “When did I first feel this way?”
- Choose a conscious response rather than a triggered reaction.
This practice turns conflict into opportunity. Triggers stop being barriers and start becoming gateways to self-healing.
As Sarah reflects, “Our love’s not a race, only one of us wins. I pushed you so hard not to quit or give in. I look back now, past the anger and fear, you were suffering and you were all alone in it.” These words remind us that beneath every trigger is suffering that longs to be seen and loved. When we learn to see that — in ourselves and in others — we transform not only our relationships, but also the way we live and love.
Final Reflection
Your emotions are not the enemy. They are messengers, asking you to listen, to heal, and to grow. When you take responsibility for your inner world, you not only honor your own soul, but you also create space for deeper connection, intimacy, and lasting love.
~S
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✨ Are you ready to turn your triggers into teachers?
Just like in the song, life will “break and unbreak your heart” — but your emotions don’t have to control you. They are energy in motion, guiding you toward deeper self-awareness and healing. When you choose to take responsibility for your inner world, you begin walking a path of transformation, love, and spiritual ascension.
The Soul Journey Membership was created to support you in this process. Inside, you’ll learn how to:
🌿 Recognize and release old patterns and emotional triggers
🌿 Develop the self-awareness needed to respond with love instead of fear
🌿 Heal past trauma while deepening your spiritual connection
🌿 Find stability, like gravity, in the midst of life’s highs and lows
You don’t have to navigate the mire of emotional triggers alone. Together, we’ll transform pain into growth and create lasting inner peace.
💫 Join the Soul Journey today — and step into a space where love, healing, and spiritual ascension are always waiting for you.
