by Stephanie Bucklin
The Cost of Survival
Safety has never been a luxury for me.
It’s been a baseline need, a sacred nonnegotiable, woven into every choice I’ve ever made—from where I park at night to how close I sit to the door. I learned early that safety isn’t guaranteed; it’s something women must cultivate, defend, and sense in their bones.
My mother taught me to hold my keys between my fingers like claws, to walk fast, to stay alert. My father handed me a whistle and a stun gun before I ever learned to parallel park.
I was being trained, like so many daughters, for survival in a world that doesn’t always see our fear.
The Memory in the Body
There’s a haunting familiarity to the hypervigilance that trauma breeds.
After being raped three times by men I once trusted, I lived in a constant state of watchfulness. I knew what it was to freeze, to dissociate, to replay moments that tore holes in my sense of self.
When I was finally diagnosed with PTSD, I began to understand what Bessel van der Kolk meant when he wrote,
“The body keeps the score: the body remembers what the mind forgets.”
My nervous system had become my barometer. Even when my mind tried to rationalize trust, my body whispered the truth: You are not safe here.
That whisper saved me more than once.
The Inner Work of Safety
It took years of therapy, energy work, and spiritual practice to learn that safety is not only external—it is also internal. True healing began the moment I stopped waiting for someone else to make me feel safe and started listening to the parts of me that were still trembling inside.
Safety isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the presence of peace.
And peace requires presence.
As Aaron Abke so beautifully teaches,
“Healing is not about fixing the body or mind, but about remembering the truth of who you are — infinite awareness, untouched by trauma.”
To embody that truth meant retraining my body to relax again—to feel peace as more than a fleeting visitor. Through breathwork, grounding, and spiritual connection, I learned to create small sanctuaries of safety within myself.
The Sacred Masculine
Reading Eric Graham’s words about “the male privilege of feeling safe” stirred something deep within me.
His realization—that men walk through the world unburdened by the constant hum of threat—was both validating and heartbreaking.
For so many women, the longing isn’t for protection through dominance, but for peace through presence.
To meet a man whose energy says, “You are safe here,” without needing to prove it through control, is a profound experience.
It allows the feminine to soften, to rest, to return to her natural flow. It is what Carl Jung referred to as the sacred union of masculine and feminine energies:
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
Safety transforms us. It allows us to exhale.
Peace as a Practice
I’ve come to realize that peace is not something you find—it’s something you build, one breath at a time.
For me, that means speaking truth even when my voice shakes. It means walking away when my body says no. It means acknowledging that my fear is not weakness—it’s wisdom.
And when I feel safe, my body relaxes into the rhythm of trust. My breath deepens. My intuition sharpens. My heart opens.
That’s when I remember who I truly am:
not a survivor of trauma, but a teacher of peace.
Not a woman defined by fear, but one reborn through awareness.
Because the more I honor my need for safety, the more peace I invite into the world around me.
Closing Reflection
Safety is sacred.
Peace is power.
And love—true, conscious love—is not control. It is protection through presence.
As women, when we feel safe, we heal not just ourselves but generations of silence.
When we reclaim our peace, we teach the world what love really feels like.
~S
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🌟 Awaken Your Sovereign Light
The path to sovereignty begins with remembrance—
that you are not your past, your pain, or your fear.
You are a divine being awakening to your true power.
As the Gene Keys remind us, our shadows are not mistakes;
they are invitations to embody higher frequencies of love, awareness, and grace.
And as A Course in Miracles teaches,
“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”
When we remember who we truly are—light in form, spirit in motion—we no longer seek safety in others.
We become the safety.
We become the peace.
We become the presence that heals.
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to awaken your intuitive gifts, align with your higher self,
and live from the frequency of divine remembrance—
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