Healing the Inflammation of a Life Lived in Survival Mode

By Stephanie Bucklin

Trauma changes us. Not just emotionally or spiritually—but biologically. Chronic stress saturates the body with inflammation, reshaping the way we breathe, react, digest, sleep, and connect. It becomes the invisible undercurrent of how we move through the world, and for some of us, it becomes the backdrop of our entire childhood.

As I deepen my journey into becoming a trauma-informed practitioner, I’ve been revisiting the roots of my own healing path. Trauma is not just something I learn about. It is something I have lived through, unraveled, and transformed—with compassion, breath, and a relentless devotion to Love.

This is my story.

Growing Up in the Shadow of Trauma

I was raised in an abusive environment—one parent narcissistic, the other passive, depressed, and unmotivated. I grew up navigating a landscape of manipulation, emotional unpredictability, and the quiet ache of being unseen by those who were supposed to protect me.

My nervous system learned hypervigilance long before I learned self-love. I became skilled at reading the room, accommodating the emotional storms of others, smoothing out chaos, and shrinking myself so others wouldn’t feel threatened. This was codependency at its greatest. A people pleaser.

What I did not yet know was this:

“Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions.” — Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score

The body remembers what the mind tries to outrun. This profound truth has been working it’s way into my awareness for more than a decade.

The Wounds I Carried Into Womanhood

I was part of the #MeToo movement because I needed to reclaim my voice. I needed to reclaim me.

My story included:

• Molestation by a babysitter at 12
• Rape by a boyfriend at 15
• Rape again by someone I was dating at 29
• And decades later, rape and assault by a partner

These are not bullet points—these are seismic ruptures that shaped my relationship with trust, intimacy, and safety. They carved grooves of hypervigilance into my nervous system and culminated in a diagnosis of PTSD.

For years, I asked myself questions trauma survivors whisper in the dark:

• “Why me?”
• “What did I do wrong?”
• “How do I make this pain stop?”

It took a long time to understand, it was never my fault. And healing—deep, cellular, spiritual healing—is possible. As I find a path to my own peace, I invite you into the possibility of your own.

Learning What Safety Really Means

We cannot heal trauma in the absence of safety. And for survivors like me, safety wasn’t something we grew up with—it’s something we have to build later in life. My own healing has unfolded through five pillars:

1. Safety: Not just physical safety—emotional, energetic, relational safety. A nervous system that finally exhales.

2. Embodiment: Returning to my body after decades of dissociation. Noticing breath, sensation, the language my cells have been screaming.

3. Nourishment: Feeding myself with clean foods, gentle movement, and inner kindness. Reducing inflammation became an act of self-respect.

4. Structure: Creating rituals. Healthy Boundaries. Predictability—because trauma is the collapse of order. Calm in the storm.

5. Environment: Choosing spaces and people that do not harm me. Curating my life like sacred ground.

And within those pillars, two tools became essential ~ Compassion & Curiosity

Compassion gave me softness. Curiosity gave me freedom.

Trauma and the Desire to Love Without Grasping

Buddhist philosophy has guided me since my early 20s. I was drawn to the concept of non-attachment long before I understood why. Buddha teaches us to love without grasping. To offer love with open hands, not clenched fists. My trauma taught me to cling tightly—to seek safety in people who could not provide it.

My healing taught me the opposite:

• Love does not demand.
• Love does not bind.
• Love liberates.

Through mindfulness and breathwork, I began to unwind the illusions that kept me imprisoned. My breath became my anchor. Mindfulness became the bridge between reaction and response.

When Spirit Steps In

Beyond the trauma, there has always been light. I have been guided—nudged, comforted, carried—by Spirit. By something holy, ancient, and infinitely loving. On the other side of profound violation, I discovered profound compassion.

• I learned to embody love.
• I learned to love generously.
• I learned to allow relationships to serve as catalysts—not because I needed to save anyone, but because my Soul insisted on transforming pain into purpose.

I became a healer not in spite of my trauma, but because healing became the language of my soul.

Healing Is Possible — And It’s Not Too Late

In a beautiful TEDx talk by Dr. Susanna Petche, she says, “Trauma is not your fault. But healing is your responsibility.” (TedX Talk: “Is Trauma Costing Your Future?”)

That is the truth that changed my life. Healing is possible – when we are seen, when we are heard, when we are validated, and when we are held with compassion instead of judgment. I am no longer the child trying to survive. I am no longer the woman carrying shame that was never hers. I am the sovereign self – the healed one, the healer, the Phoenix rising. My trauma shaped me. But it does not define me. My healing does.

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The greatest journey is taken inward to our true self.

Not across continents, not into careers or relationships, not through what we acquire or achieve—but into the quiet chambers of our own soul. This is the pilgrimage every human is called to make, though few answer. For some of us, the path begins in crisis, trauma, or heartbreak. For others, it awakens in stillness, in longing, in the whisper that says: There is more to you than this.

Every step we take inward reveals something essential—our truth, our patterns, our pain, our purpose, and ultimately, our divinity.

Step Into Unshakable Inner Peace

If this story resonated with your nervous system, your heart, or the parts of you still learning how to feel safe in your own body—please know this:

You do not have to navigate healing alone.

I created the Unshakable Inner Peace 9-Week Program for trauma survivors, sensitives, empaths, and awakening souls who are ready to shift from survival mode into grounded, embodied, sovereign peace. Not by bypassing the pain—but by integrating it with compassion, nervous system support, and spiritual wisdom.

Over nine intentional weeks, you will:

✅ Learn trauma-informed mindfulness & nervous-system regulation
✅ Rebuild internal safety through breath, embodiment & awareness
✅ Release old patterns rooted in fear, shame & survival
✅ Strengthen boundaries, self-trust & emotional resilience
✅ Cultivate peace that cannot be taken from you
✅ Return home to your true self—beyond the veil of conditioning

Because healing is not just possible—it is your birthright.

If you’re ready to reclaim your life, your voice, your body, and your inner calm, I invite you to join us:

👉 Learn More & Enroll: Here

Seats are intentionally limited to protect intimacy, safety, and support.

Your next chapter doesn’t begin when life becomes easier—
it begins when you become anchored within.

You are worthy of peace.
You are worthy of healing.
You are worthy of coming home to yourself.

Learn more about the Unshakable Inner Peace program here.